I drank coffee w a young man in his early 20’s the other night, he was doing me a favor. It was depressing. He confessed not liking conversations with older people. Why?


“…because i don’t like having to brace myself against the advice. Everyone thinks their way is right. And there are usually two, three or four ways, –but theirs is always the right one. It’s to the point where, when i pray, i hear the corrections and question whether i’m doing it ‘the right way’, when i sing i wonder if i’m ‘doing it right’.


His friends feel the same way. They feel that way about the church. He called it immature & drama queenish, but many of his friends are fed up and so they leave. And no wonder.

Is church a place to suffer diminutive scowls & corrections, or is church winsome, enticing, edifying? Do people crave church for an encouraging dose of love-drenched truth? Or do they ‘brace themselves against the advice.’

Get around an older guy and ask, “What do you think?” That’s the last word you’ll get to say for a long, long while. They’ll go monologuing.

Wouldn’t it be more relational, engaging and effective if, instead of answering, they responded, “Hmm, interesting question. What do you think?”